Speak from the Heart

Being Authentic Creates Connection

We miss out on a whole other level of intimacy if we decide to keep still. Speaking from the heart is a way to create a connection to others we would not have otherwise. It allows others to see us as we are. Speaking from the heart, expressing vulnerability and honesty, is something all of us can do. We are sometimes afraid to do so, fearing others will see us as weak. Yet, it takes strength to speak from the heart. It is scary to open up and let others know our needs, our vulnerabilities.

 

Retain a Sense of Calm

We need to be inwardly relaxed when we speak from the heart. It helps to have thoughts of gratitude and love before we open up to others. We’ve all witnessed how contagious stress and distress can be and how it can escalate. In these situations it helps to breathe deep from the belly to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the rest and digest system, before we begin speaking.

 

Some things to keep in mind:

• Ensure you are coming from a place of love; with good intentions.
• Manipulation and agendas can be sensed by others immediately; it is important to speak from a place of truth.
• This is not about the other person; this is about you and your needs. In order to maintain clarity and keep the other person from going into defence mode, state what you mean and use “I,” not “you.”
• Focus on the now and what you feel in your body, in your soul, in your mind – not on what happened in the past on solving a problem.
• Do not try to interpret, but simply focus on the observation.
• This is a time to set the ego aside. Do not try to sell your agenda, try to persuade, justify or defend. Simply state your feeling or need or observation, without judgement.

Speaking from the Heart Takes Courage

Lastly, stay focused on what is important to you, on the essence of what it is you are communicating. If the other person is not ready to hear you, know that this too is okay. Simply disengage from the conversation and ask if perhaps you can revisit the topic another time. Know that you have spoken from the heart, and that this took courage.

 

Gain New Depths in Your Relationships

Sometimes what we say at the time does not show an immediate effect, but takes a while to germinate. Speaking from the heart does not happen overnight; it takes practise and patience. Know however, that once we have started on the path of speaking our truth from a place of love, our relationships with others will take on a richness that was not there before.