Sexuality - Sex Therapy *
Issues I see with Clients in Sex Therapy *
Clients come to me from all different cultures, backgrounds and beliefs for sex therapy.* Some issues differ between genders, while some affect all. Below are some of the hurdles they encounter.
Issues Affecting All Genders
- I am having problems with being sexual
- I feel shame about my erotic desires
- I experienced past trauma and guilt around sex
- I want to learn how to increase my level of desire
- How do I deal with my partner’s lack of desire
- I want to boost my sexual confidence or I am lacking sexual experience
- Navigating sexuality in an arranged marriage
- I am still a virgin and feel it is too late for me
- I am exploring coming out
- I am bisexual and feel I don’t fit in
- I want more intimacy
- I want more knowledge of my own and/or my partner’s body
- Navigating sex after children or midlife
- I am having difficulties navigating sex after surgery or an accident
- I have poor body image
- Should I be worried about my porn or sex consumption
- I would like to communicate my needs to my partner better
- I feel a lot of shame about my sexuality
- I have difficulty getting out of my head during sex
Male Issues
- I am struggling to get or
maintain an erection - I am suffering premature or delayed ejaculation
Female Issues
- Perimenopause or menopause have been difficult for me sexually
- I am struggling with sex during/after pregnancy
- Penetrative sex is difficult or painful
“Sexual behavior is a highly charged facet of human experience… sexual behavior has a history of frightening some people so badly that rather than labor to understand it, they seek to suppress it in themselves as well as in others.”
Leonard Cohen“Sexual experience is a dynamic, ever-evolving process for all.”
Stephen B. Levine“The body often contains emotional truths that words can too easily gloss over.”
Esther PerelF.A.Q.
Sex Therapy *
Different modalities are used, depending upon the issue. I use a variation of the P-LI-SS-IT model developed by J.S. Annon, PhD, to determine the different levels of intervention needed. In the PLISSIT model, it is assumed that if the lower three levels (Permission, Limited Information, Specific Suggestions) aren’t effective, the treatment plan moves to the last stage (intensive therapy, or “IP”).
In the Ex-PLISSIT model, I must recognize my own strengths and limitations and acknowledge the limits of my level of competence. Hence, I don’t take clients with chronic illnesses; unless the client is already seeing a specialist.
I am not a healing practitioner, so following the Ex-PLISSIT model, I will refer clients on to others who are more able to address the client’s needs at any time during the first three levels of working together, if necessary.
I take an Intersystemic Approach, which is an integrative way of viewing sexual issues. I use Systemic applications, which explore how individuals, couples, family systems and communities function in the relationship with self and others, and address the cognition, emotions, and behaviors surrounding the sexual behavior rather than using interventions that only look at one of those areas.
I also employ Mindfulness-based applications (Lori A. Brotto, PhD), Focusing (Eugene T. Gendling, PhD), Sensate Focusing (Dr. William Masters and Dr. Virginia Johnson); as well as restructuring thought patterns that no longer serve, and hypnosis, educational videos, and more.
Sex therapy * will never include sexual contact with your counselor. Sex therapy * is NOT sexual body work, tantra massage or a euphemism for sex work of any kind.
This depends on the issue, but a session is usually 60 to 90 minutes. I usually recommend 90 minute sessions in the beginning, because there is often so much to cover.
This can not be answered in a blanket statement because it depends on so many factors. What is the issue? How committed are you to working with me and on your own to become the person you long to be? Usually a client will see me once every other week to start, and then once a month and so on. This is very individual.
A 60-minute session costs €90 and a 90-minute session costs €120. Couples sessions are 90 minutes and cost €160.
Online bank transfers, Paypal or cash payment. I do not accept insurance.
Our lives are busy and things happen. Of course you may cancel or reschedule the appointment more than 24 hours in advance for no charge. However, if you cancel less than 24 hours in advance you will be charged half the session fee.
I use Zoom because it is password protected but I can use another platform of your choosing, as long as it can ensure your privacy.