Learn to Regulate Emotions to Improve Your Sex Life
When we try to understand problems in our sex life, many of us don’t think to look beyond physical diagnoses and treatment. But research published in the April 2022 Sexual Medicine Review indicates that a better understanding of how to regulate our emotions can have a major impact on how we function sexually.
What is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to manage your emotions and adapt behaviors to your environment. It involves six components: emotional self awareness, mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal, adaptability, self-compassion and self-soothing. Understanding how these components relate to sexual performance can help improve your sex life.
Managing Stress to Improve Sexual Performance
Along with cognitive strategies, stress management is instrumental when it comes to cultivating emotional regulation and improving overall sexual performance. Your sexual functioning can take a huge hit when you are stressed and anxious. Stress and anxiety may lead to decreased libido, erectile dysfunction, low sexual desire, painful sex and an inability to have orgasms.
But if we want to achieve better emotional regulation and improve how we function sexually, it’s essential to practice healthy habits. These habits can include eating nutritious food, engaging in regular exercise, getting enough sleep and dedicating time for relaxation. Activities such as box breathing, meditation, or talking to a partner or counselor have all been shown to reduce stress.
A Few Ways to Up-Regulate Emotions to Increase Arousal
Building on the six components of emotional regulation during sex that were outlined above, the study recommends various ways to use emotional control to improve sexual arousal and satisfaction. For example, up-regulating emotions can help increase arousal and connect partners to the moment. This can be done by intentionally increasing heart rate, taking deeper in-breaths, and other physical sensations associated with physical pleasure. Additionally, focusing on physical stimulation, such as touching and kissing, can help increase pleasure and arousal.
A Few Ways to Down-Regulate Emotions to Decrease Negativity
On the other hand, down-regulating emotions can also increase sexual satisfaction. For example, focusing on grounding practices, such as deeper out-breaths or progressive muscle relaxation, can help decrease anxious feelings associated with sexual disgust and/or negativity. Additionally, intentionally focusing on positive memories, such as pleasant moments shared with your partner, can help re-direct your energy and reduce anxiety.
Conclusion
When you understand how to implement the six components of emotional regulation during sex, it’s possible to reap the benefits of heightened sexual satisfaction. Adopting strategies to regulate your emotions can help you stay in control during sexual encounters and ensure both you and your partner get the most out of your sexual experiences. Being aware of what makes you aroused or unable to perform, being honest with yourself and your partner, and learning how to appropriately handle your emotions in sexual situations are essential.
As this study shows, emotions are a powerful and important part of sexual performance. While you can’t always change external circumstances, you can choose to become more aware of your emotions and feelings, develop the skills to manage label your emotions and feelings, develop the skills to manage and label your emotions, and use cognitive and stress management strategies to improve your sex life. With the right tools and knowledge, and investing time into developing healthier habits and behaviors, you can ensure an enjoyable and satisfactory sex life.