It is difficult for us to keep intimacy alive in the best of times, and the pandemic has posed its own set of challenges. I hear many tell stories of having met someone they totally clicked with before the pandemic hit and once lockdown was implemented, their frequent calls and chats dwindled down to sporadic texts and final nothingness.
Can A Long Distance Relationship Work for Me?
What are the warning signs a long distance relationship may not work for you?
- Our relationship relies mainly on physical intimacy
- You have communication problems in person
- You haven’t had those deep, difficult conversations yet
- You get jealous easily
- You already have second thoughts about whom you are with
What are some signs a long distance relationship may work?
- You are not afraid of the future
- There is a strong level of trust
- You have similar goals
- You are committed to each other
- You prioritize each other
How Can We Keep Our Long Distance Relationship Alive?
What are some things we can do to keep a long distance relationship from becoming nothing more than a memory?
Successful long distance relationships do some of the following:
- Video calls
- Text about mundane day-to-day things (our life is made up of these)
- Take them along to the grocery store, etc. (eg. Apps like Whatsapp enable free calling)
- Swap T-shirts you have worn (don’t underestimate the power of pheromones)
- Hold game nights using free online games, such as Tabletop Simulator on Steam
- Movie nights using an online streaming service
- Teledildonics (Bluetooth operated sex toys for couples, manufactured by Kiiroo or Lovense, for example, simulate a real life sex experience)
- Story hour, in which you read aloud to each other
- Date night in which you get dressed up and eat dinner together via video call
- Send each other small tokens of affection, such as letters, home baked cookies, small gifts, and so on
- Talk about the future and make plans for a physical reunion
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of at least five.
Ask questions. Here are ten to get you started:
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- What scares you most?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What was the accomplishment you are most proud of?
- What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you were to die this evening without the chance to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Your father?